Kumusta ka?

Been a long time! All this time, I am still trying to forget you! But look what you did, such a splendid! With your simple “Kmusta?” , my whole mystic awakens! I hope you know that by my immediate reply. Why does every time I made myself busy to avoid thinking of you, YOU unexpectedly pop up?!

Trying to think of it, are you playing with me? You damn messaged me and then later on when I replied, you ignored it! Well, I know that you are busy out there but is it a burden to at least notice my reply? You actually messaged me first, you awaken my asleep ticker! But you made me conclude that having a conversation with me is a burden. I noticed that your social media account is online, you even posted something and replied to some comments. With that, since I received no reply from you, I’m trying to move on and forget again. When I reached to the point that you were not in my mind, you messaged me again. And then when I replied, you kept on ignoring it, you sometimes never dare to seen my message. The scenario repeatedly happened. I hope you noticed the efforts I made so I could have a long conversation with you… You kept messaging how I am doing. Well probably, if I could tell you frankly, I am really having a hard time on trying to understand you. You made things difficult for me! Why take time on asking me how I am doing, if you’ll just going to ignore me? Honestly, it is an insult to my part. Yeah, I sometimes had the courage to do what you’ve done, so you could feel the way I felt. But…. the courage I have is not enough…. I feel uneasy for not replying, it took me 4 hours, ahmmm.. I guess it was only 2 hours?… Okay! It actually just took me an hour before replying. Do you even have any idea how hard it is to me, making myself busy and deal with other things so I could also ignore your message? Then at that time, you noticed it…. you immediately replied to my message…. You made me think that you are waiting for my reply, that you are curious why I wasn’t able to reply immediately. But that thoughts remains that way.

He

He gave life to my asleep existence,

Astonished me with his presence.

Bestowed import to my complexion

Full of objections.

He lighted up my world,

Repleted with obscured.

Unleashed me to this woe,

Released me in this quod.

He fulfilled the absence,

Just with a quick glance.

I don’t know what to do,

I’m going to explode.

He was my superhero,

He saved me from this sorrow,

But what am I gonna do?

He is just an illusion,

In all this confusion.

Y O U

I questioned myself every night – wait, should I call it every time? Okay! okay! It must be every time! Because you are always the content of my mind. Believe me, I am striving hard to forget you! But why can’t I? For almost 3 years that we haven’t seen each other, why can’t I remove my feelings for you? There was a time that I wasn’t thinking of you anymore. I was reaching the side of joy for at last I can able to say I MOVED ON!

But at all sudden, everything was ruined just because of your presence in my dream. If only I knew that you would be in my dream at that night- no.. no… It was actually at dawn! If only I knew, I shouldn’t have slept! So I would never think of you ever again!

I said, here it goes again… my heart bounds to everlasting. Lost in my insanity again, assuming to the occurrence that will never ever happen. But what’s the worst and the top heartbreak of my lunation? It is probably the fact that THERE WAS NO US, THERE IS NO US, THERE WILL NEVER BE AN US.

I know that it is just a one-sided love. It is me who secretly loved you the most, even though I knew from the start that my feelings shouldn’t be tolerated. It is all my fault, and I admit it from the bottom of my stoned heart. I really tried and forced myself not to get things worst, because I know that it is me who will suffer and currently, I am now suffering.

I’m sorry! I am very sorry for feeling this way towards you. I am sorry for being such a disturbance. I am sorry for assuming. I am sorry for confessing the way I feel. I shouldn’t have done that, it was a big mistake. I am sorry for I wasn’t able to control and stop everything. I know that you are avoiding me now. At some point, I know it is for each sake.

Once again, I am sorry and thank you for everything. I am happy for your accomplishments. I am happy for the steps that you take for your dreams.

The Mistake

Why am I feeling like this way?
I can’t take ye out of my mind.
I tried myself not to remember ye,
But my sense keeps on uplifting the memories we had.

I miss you, very much.
I love you, so much.
But everytime I look at myself in the mirror,
I see the useless and worthless per.

I love seeing your pictures, our pictures.
Then I realized how crummy and lousy I am.
And these, these breaks my heart into pieces,
’cause no one likes me and I know, no one will ever like and love me.

I am brainless.
I am a fat tall ugly duckling!
I don’t deserve anything in this world.
I am just an unimportant one, that has no rights in this elysium world!

Guess what?
I regret it! I regret it! Damn it!
It was a mistake! A huge mistake!
I shouldn’t have done those things to you.

Though believe me, I tried!
I really tried and even forced myself,
Just to forget you but I’m sorry I failed.
My feelings grow bigger and stronger

A Poem To The Man Who Will Never Be Mine

I miss your eyes covered by eyeglasses!
I miss your sweet manly voice!
I miss your pedantic answers!
I miss your presence!
I miss your smile!
I miss how rigorous you are!
I miss how scary you were because of being strict!
I miss the awkwardness I felt!
I miss the way you cared!
I miss the comfort you offered!
I miss being so weird!
I miss being unimpeachable when I’m with you!
I miss every piece of you!
I miss staring at you secretly!
I miss your calls!
I miss your texts!
I miss the conversations!
I miss how you build me up!
I miss you more than the words I can say!

Tell me please,
When am I going to see you again?